I’m back.

Can you hear the drumroll?

Did you feel the earth tremor slightly as the balance of the world’s axis resumes its normal balance?

You did?

Yeah I did too.

Gill’s writing again.

My absence has been painful.  I have lived through a myriad of emotions which started with a guilt complex that my writing had been an escape from the pain of watching my husband’s physical deterioration and that escape in some way harmed him or deprived him of my care.

Untrue.

Next, along came my realisation that everything I had written, my blog especially, all the contacts I had made in the Writers World and even the wonderful camaraderie of the Creative Writers Group on Facebook were influenced by the pain of my circumstance therefore without that pain I could not continue them.

Untrue.

Then along came the idea that I had to trash everything and start over as a less emotional person, probably under guise of a pen name. I even contemplated re-joining the Facebook group I missed so much under an assumed identity and not letting on it was me!

Rubbish and laughable.

Then I asked my very good friend Anita to help me to calculate a bottom price that I could accept for the sale of my house, which is on the market. I was frightened I would accept any offer and had no idea where to start. Anita shocked me by approaching the exercise from the bottom up and her first question indicated such confidence in me as a writer.

“Ok, so how long do you need to get on your feet as a writer? How much time will you need to be able to support yourself until you are earning enough to live on, two years?” She did not question why I wasn’t writing.

Wow.

Her unfailing confidence in me knocked me over but still I avoided the issue and failed to get down to it and put “black on white” as one of my writing mentors Kevin Ashman is constantly advising budding writers.

Finally May came around and the three-month anniversary of losing my husband knocked me sideways. This time my grief was for me, I felt so lonely. What could I possibly do that would help me cope with long mornings before work and eternal weekends that dragged in front of me?

Escape.

Do what I do best and get that novel written and published.

I’m back.

Did you hear the drumroll?

Help me get back in the saddle faithful followers, send me a comment and let me know if you are still out there – please – it’s important to me.  

Let’s get this blog rocking and rolling for real this time.

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10 thoughts on “I’m back

  1. I’m still here! Welcome back Gill. I’ve missed your blogs, and I am now pleased to be able to continue reading your story. Good luck with your Novel writing 🙂

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  2. I’ll tell you what I think Mrs Sainsbury. I think at last, the world can look forward to sharing what I already know. That there is an unknown writer out there, about to warm their hearts with a style of writing that will blow them away. You have teased us long enough with your snippets and blogs, and now is the time to develop your undeniable talent. I wont say it’s time to move on, because that is impossible after a lifetime of happy memories, but i am going to be selfish and hope that you will allow a portion of your life to develop your writing, not instead of, but alongside those treasured memories. I feel like a five year old again, being told that it will soon be christmas. We have missed you at CWS but now you are back, you can, and will add to the success being enjoyed by many on there. Welcome back, Gill, Now start that bloody novel. I owe myself a christmas present.

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  3. All your emotions are very understandable – think about what you would expect someone else to be going through in your situation and you’ll know that your feelings (whatever they are) are only natural. thinking of you always, I just don’t know how I would cope. see you soon. X

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    1. Thanks Sheila, this high energy emotion just had to have an outlet in order to let me move forward to the next chapter in my life which will be very writing orientated. Love to you both xxx

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