Hola, Buenas ias, Hi, Hello and Welcome,
This will be my last post until 2013.
God that’s frightening.
I could reflect, I could mourn, I could find highlights, I could gloat (I did the Nano).
Instead I will share
Please enjoy this flash fiction piece – Life’s Echo. It is re worked and fresh so you haven’t seen it before I promise.
Adios, Hasta Luego, Bye, Cheers and Chow- see you all next year.
LIFE’S ECHO by GILL SAINSBURY
I don’t remember leaving the road and crossing the leafy paths, but I am here, perched on the railing of the bridge, high above the thunderous waters.
My arms are outstretched like wings. My eyes are squeezed shut. My upturned head is facing the sky. I sense the spectres of life and death watching as I reflect.
“No way! You? The greatest never finish what she started merchant,” spittle flew from Ryan’s inebriated lips as he delivered his caustic assessment of my life. “Jump off the bridge? Oh yeah, I’m quaking in my boots.” The door slammed behind him, leaving me alone, his words reverberating around the room.
I curled up on the sofa in a foetal position. I see the spectres of life and death hanging over me. I sob silently for the umpteenth time, mourning the life that has been taken from me.
“You never finish what you start,” the spectres whisper.
Tonight I’d tried; I really had tried. The miscarriage, the event, is killing us. But tonight, I had tried.
I had showered and dressed with care. A short sexy dress that’s uncomfortable but Ryan loves, I’d re-introduced my hair to the heat of a hairdryer, I’d applied make-up and I had determined to please Ryan and get through the evening without reference to the event.
But in the end, the pretending there was no event and that inevitable one drink too many for Ryan and we were coasting down that same old road. Ryan and his jealousy of Stuart, my counsellor, whose words give me the comfort I need.
I dozed fitfully on the sofa listening to the echo of my life bouncing off the walls – never finishes anything – Spanish lessons paid for but never finished – golf the same thing – Melanie – our precious baby daughter – never finishes anything.
Dawn blazed through the curtains onto my foetal form. I rose and ushered the spectres out the window. I’m resolute.
I walked to the bridge in a haze of resignation. My life’s echo is now my mantra, “never finishes, never finishes”. I was going to finish.
I open my eyes to the perfect blue sky. Slowly and deliberately I lift my head to face the horizon and as I do gravity takes over and pulls me, slowly, so slowly – forward – until there’s no need to jump, or even step off. Gravity takes over and I am falling. Arms splayed, eyes open as the rush and roar of the waters below reach up to claim me. The spectres are trailing me as I plummet into the cascading waterfall.
I see Ryan’s face, his crooked smile and seductive eyes, vicious words. I hear Stuart’s voice “Do something outrageous, unexpected, shock yourself. Make that moment the start of a new beginning, with or without Ryan, you decide. Never forget Melanie but move on.”
“It’s finished Ryan,” I scream hysterically as the elastic cord of the bungee rope kicks in and I am catapulted back up toward the bridge.