So many times of late, I find myself defining my mood and circumstance as “happy sad”, I figure it must be eligible for the mighty Oxford English Dictionary as a recognised mood state. Bitter sweet, we all accept that one. I feel the same way about happy sad.
What prompts this melancholy tone on a fine sunny Sunday morning I hear you ask?
I think maybe little Agness can best explain. She listened in on my class during her break time and overheard me explain to the kids of Class A that I will be in Tanzania for Christmas day and that I was very happy but I have none of my family here. We were talking about their Christmas traditions and a typical Tanzanian Christmas day, which I might add is just like any other day but with added stress and demands for some of the kids.
Later that day as school closed Agness thrust a piece of paper in my hand saying quietly “for you Teacher Gilli” and left at a pace which would have seen her win a hundred metre dash. Surprised, confused and full of curiosity (I do not teach this girl and only interact with her amongst the others during breaks Etc) I opened the page which I have copied in all it’s beautiful glory and English mistakes, to share with you.
Dear teacher gilli
Mery christmas! As it become Christmas I miss more my family in Somalia. We must spend christmas with our loved ones. Although we cannot spend time together because we live far away from each other I belive We ar one as we pray and remember each other in earth, christmas day when jesus came to this earth. I hope we feel as if we were spending christmas together by giving love to jesus and rejoicing.
I love you
And so my friends Agnesi understands my happy sad state of mind. Do you?
I want to stay here and finish what I have started, I need to help cover the boring stuff, the rent, the electricity, the books, the pens but mostly I need to ask for donations to cover my own rent or else I have to seek work here or return to Europe, either way it will mean leaving Agnesi and the Good Hope kids behind with a job half done.