Forgive me folks, in times of stress, trauma and high emotion I need to hide away in the Writer’s World, where there is always an open door and an adventure to be had. When I come to terms with the facts of my life in Moshi, Tanzania more serious posts will resume.
Until then enjoy my tales. This one for Sara S and Jen O.
HEART OF ICE
Your caress reaches the hollow of my neck and the softness of your touch demands my response. I give in. I succumb.
How did I get to be here?
I told my friends no. Don’t bring him here. I don’t need his affections.
Is this not my life to command? But they brought you and then they left you.
Every day you came, every day you cajoled entry, every day you drew me closer, every day you stayed longer.
Every week the ice in my heart melted a faint sliver more.
My heart had been given long before you came into my life.
How dare you expect it to melt and that I should dance to your tune now and forget the one I left behind.
How dare you?
You stretch languidly letting the softness of your body gently prise open my own so that you can nestle there.
Our bodies are attuned to each other’s now.
How did that happen?
My life is in turmoil, there is anger in my heart.
I came here to help but the needs are so great I feel overwhelmed by the futility of it all and I long to give up.
I rush home to seek solace and comfort …
Where are you now, in my moment of need?
Where is the softness of your caress, the gentle hum of your voice, when I need it most?
Is this what you chipped away at my heart for?
To let me down when I need you most, to ignore my calls and cries of your nameless name?
Is this what it was all for?
Hours have passed and I languish in my solitary misery spread out, open and vulnerable on the sofa with no caress to fulfil my needs.
At last you pad through the door, head held high, tail swishing.
The cat I refuse to name anything other than Cat, has come home.